During a casual
conversation over tea, a friend shared with us a video by Abraham
Twerski where he talks about true love. Just a two minute video and
it made so much sense to me until I thought over it again. He
mentioned that ethicist Rabbi Dessler had said, 'People make a
serious mistake in thinking that you give to those who you love.'
Twerski interprets this by saying, “You love those whom you
give. If I give something to you, I have invested myself in you. And
since self love is a given, everybody loves themselves; now that part
of me has become in you, there's part of me in you that I love”
It came across to me
as a fresh idea. However, I am just not convinced on how can the act
of giving be narrowed down to just 'self love'! Like how is the Sun being
selfish by burning itself to give us light. Where is self love for
the soil who is indiscriminate to seed that falls on it ? Nature is a
great giver. Considering this an exemplary exception lets just talk
about fellow humans.
How did Eklavya see self love in giving away his right thumb as gurudakshina to a guru who never really taught him? The monster who started eating himself on a single command from Shiva – his creator, may not have thought of himself either. A mother never really thinks about the returns she would get in investing 15-20 years before feeding her new born. You go back and see what Swami Vivekananda, Mother Teresa and the likes have done. The only thing they got back was probably a good sleep at the end of the day for having done their part in the larger ecosystem.
How did Eklavya see self love in giving away his right thumb as gurudakshina to a guru who never really taught him? The monster who started eating himself on a single command from Shiva – his creator, may not have thought of himself either. A mother never really thinks about the returns she would get in investing 15-20 years before feeding her new born. You go back and see what Swami Vivekananda, Mother Teresa and the likes have done. The only thing they got back was probably a good sleep at the end of the day for having done their part in the larger ecosystem.
One may feel
intimidated by these ginormous examples. But it is really very
simple. I personally believe if you feel like doing something for
someone; do it! See them happy and what you would get back is
happiness multiplied. Precisely why the act of giving is not about
being selfless either. Also, giving is not a gesture of returning something. There is no obligation, guilt or sympathy in it. So what does it
takes to give? It is your time and purity of heart.
We still remember
Eklavya as a great archer although he never had a face off to show
his skills as Arjun did. The “all consuming” monster who just had
his face and arms left is remembered today as 'Kirtimukha' meaning the face of
glory and is seen at the entrance of every Indian temple. We are
really only an ageing vehicle, who are striving to become more aware
and spread this awareness. And this definitely demands giving a part
of us and rising above self love.
